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The top 8 Edinburgh Fringe Festival funnies were judged to be:

Everyone needs a pick me up at some time or another.  How about reading these funnies?

1) Nick Helm: “I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.”

2) Tim Vine: “Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.”

3) Hannibal Buress: “People say ‘I’m taking it one day at a time’. You know what? So is everybody. That’s how time works.”

4) Tim Key: “Drive-Thru McDonalds was more expensive than I thought… once you’ve hired the car…”

5) Matt Kirshen: “I was playing chess with my friend and he said, ‘Let’s make this interesting’. So we stopped playing chess.”

6) Alan Sharp: “I was in a band which we called The Prevention, because we hoped people would say we were better than The Cure.”

7) Mark Watson: “Someone asked me recently – what would I rather give up, food or sex. Neither! I’m not falling for that one again, wife.”

8) Andrew Lawrence: “I admire these phone hackers. I think they have a lot of patience. I can’t even be bothered to check my OWN voicemails.”

By Angus Findlay

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